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hadeiadel:

First day at school, Gaza, Palestine.

senhor PRUDÊNCIO X Rita Roque

Hey Harman, I met this great guy. He told me everything about him the second time we met. He's going through a divorce. We've been talking and have got really close. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be his rebound, but I don't want to let go of him either. I don't know what to do.

So harman, I have an issue and would love to hear your take. I'm a 22 yr old single mother. I am educated and independent. It's not had for me to date but it seems men don't take me serious. My question; do you think men look differently or even down on single mothers? Good looking out

It doesn’t matter who you are, the moment you tell someone you have a child it changes the dynamic 100%.  They have to look at you and your child as a package, and many people aren’t ready for that.

You have two options:

1) Date men your age who do not have the capacity to take themselves seriously, grow with them, and not have a need to be in a serious relationship (at this moment)

2) Date someone older  (like 5-8 years) who has their shit together, and is looking for a partner to settle down with. This type of person will have greater capacity to take you seriously.

The real question is what are YOU looking for?

I had a casual thing with a guy. First time doing stuff with someone I'm not committed to. I had a great time, our sexual chemistry was amaaazzingg. But later on I started to get attached and he wasn't looking for commitment, so we decided to end it. I got over him fast since it was mainly physical. I learnt that I can't remain in something casual without getting emotionally involved at some point. Do you think if later on I tell someone I want to be serious with about my fling, he'd dislike me?

I don’t think there is any one way to describe how these things go.  You did the right thing by telling him, and you both did the right thing by ending it.

That is healthy behaviour.

No two situations will be exactly alike, so I suggest that you do what you think feels right.  Whether someone chooses to dislike you or not is on them, and not a reflection of you.

As long as you are always honest with your emotions and make them a priority you have nothing to worry about.  This time the guy didn’t want to progress, the next guy might - it will all depend on that moment my dear.

I'm Lebanese I speak arabic and I love my culture. My country and nationality have an important place in my heart. I love my roots and everything about Lebanon. My only problem is I don't wanna marry a Lebanese guy. I come from a very prideful "O' we are Lebanese, we are great people" type of family. Just thinking about telling my parents makes my anxiety levels sky rocket. Anyways not sure if you can help but if you can, I really appreciate it. btw, bought the nikes you suggested love them!

Trust me, I get where you are coming from, but it still doesn’t justify your thinking. You may end up with someone who is not Lebanese, but writing off a whole country of men because you don’t like the ones you personally know just sounds stupid.

I suggest you not stress the need to tell anyone anything until you’ve actually found the guy you like.  Cross that bridge if/when you need to rather than causing heart attacks now.

Also, start focusing your energy on the things that work for you, rather than the things that don’t. 

Hey Harman, there is this girl at school that I like, but my shy nature keeps me from talking to her. What can I do to get over my shyness and finally ask her out?

NOTHING